i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
