i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
