You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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