that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think my moral compass just broke
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
