I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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