I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
