Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
