My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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