I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
kristin has been a bad kristin
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
