did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
