Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
