Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
