yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
