is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
