You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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