normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
