I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize