So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
