When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I touched a dick in church today
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
FUCK WHALES
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