You made me cry and you don't even care
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
