If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
