Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
