there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
