Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
