Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize