You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
