I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
