This girl is more easily done than said...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
