going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
