her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
