My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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