she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
