i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
