It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
