I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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