Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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