I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You know, be my cock's hype man.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
