and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
