That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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