you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
