He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
