Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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