No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is Oprah even human
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
