I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this boner is exhausting
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
