Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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