well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
