At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
