Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
