So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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