this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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