her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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