Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize