yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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