oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
