i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
