He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize