Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
