hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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