i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize