i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
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We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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