Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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